Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
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