i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Randomize
