Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize