hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
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