Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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