Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Randomize
