I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Life without a bra equals bliss.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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