She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
