How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Randomize
