Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
