i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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