She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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