Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
