Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
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