Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
