I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
