He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
