I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
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