I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
