Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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