matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
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