We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
