haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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