Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
It was like giving head to a cactus.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
We had sex on a dog bed..
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
