Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
