youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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