I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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