There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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