i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
