I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
im six kinds of drunk right now
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
