a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Life is so much better after having sex.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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