All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
