TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
