Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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