its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
