You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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