Do you still have your period?
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
