remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I think people are normalizing furries
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
