no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
