I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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