You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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