You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
