I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
