wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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