so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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