Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
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