Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
