So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
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From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
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I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
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