And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
