she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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