all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
