Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
3pm strippers are depressing
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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