I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Randomize
