I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
