Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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