on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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