I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
