just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
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I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
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He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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