Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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