I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
